Dating in New York City has never been for the faint of heart, but according to social media creator Susannah Hardwick, 2025 has taken things to a whole new level. The 27-year-old TikToker has built a massive following by sharing her firsthand experiences of navigating the city’s unpredictable dating scene — and the picture she paints is anything but romantic.
“Dating in New York City is a complete fever dream,” Hardwick tells PEOPLE. “You’re dealing with some of the most delusional, entitled men on the planet who behave in the wildest ways.”
Hardwick, who moved to the U.S. from the U.K., began posting her stories online as a humorous take on modern romance. What started as lighthearted content soon transformed into a community space for women to share their frustrations — and to hold men accountable for the growing culture of inconsiderate dating behavior.
“I started documenting everything partly to find the humor in bad dates,” she explains. “Otherwise, it’s too easy to get discouraged. But I also think women speaking out can make a difference — it calls attention to how often men get away with poor behavior.”
Among her many jaw-dropping experiences, one story stands out: being stood up on a date, only for the man to send his assistant in his place. “His assistant showed up outside the restaurant, made a phone call to my date, and then told me it wasn’t going to work out because I wasn’t his type,” she recalls. “I didn’t even know how to react — it felt like something out of a satire.”
But beyond the absurdity, Hardwick points to a deeper issue — the emotional fallout from ghosting. “Ghosting culture has gotten completely out of control,” she says. “Men will say all the right things — that they can’t stop thinking about you, that you’re perfect — and then disappear a week later.”
She attributes the rise in ghosting to online dating and dating apps. “Apps have given men an abundance mindset,” Hardwick explains. “They’re often talking to multiple girls at the same time, which makes it easy to drop one person and move to another. There’s no accountability.”
This “abundance effect,” she argues, has made dating more transactional. “It’s no longer about getting to know someone; it’s about instant gratification. And when the spark fades, they just move on without a word.”
Hardwick admits that even when she recognizes red flags like “love bombing” — when someone showers you with affection too quickly — her romantic side still wants to believe the best. “I can tell when someone’s being unrealistic, but part of me still falls for it,” she says. “Because who doesn’t want to believe it’s real?”
She finds ghosting especially painful after multiple dates. “It’s not just about rejection,” she explains. “It’s about the lack of respect. Most men don’t want to have emotional conversations, so they take the easy way out and vanish.”
And it doesn’t always end there. “Almost all the men who have ghosted me come back a few months later,” she says. “They like keeping the door open — it’s their way of holding on to an ‘option.’”
While she continues to use dating apps, Hardwick says she’s increasingly hopeful about in-person connections. “There’s definitely a shift,” she observes. “People are tired of swiping and want to meet naturally again.”
She’s even experienced a few “rom-com” moments herself. “Once, a guy on a Citi Bike stopped in the middle of the road just to ask for my number,” she recalls with a smile. “Another time, someone literally threw a stuffed sloth from his fire escape to get my attention.” Both stories ended with ghosting, but she remains lighthearted about it. “At least I got a funny story out of it.”
Hardwick has also noticed an uptick in singles’ mixer events across the city but admits they feel “a little contrived.” “The most desirable men usually aren’t there,” she says. “They’re meeting people through friends or in real life — not at organized dating events.”
Her content has sparked conversations across social media. While many women applaud her for her honesty, Hardwick says the negative responses usually come from men. “Men get very defensive when they feel called out,” she says. “But I’m not trying to attack anyone — I just want people to treat each other better.”
Despite the chaos, she’s not giving up on love. “I still believe there’s someone out there,” she says. “Even with all the madness, I’m hopeful.”
As Halloween approaches, Hardwick jokes that the scariest thing in New York isn’t ghosts — it’s ghosting. And she’s determined to keep talking about it until the dating world starts taking accountability seriously.